Diet Bread and Parking Spaces at the Market

Have you ever noticed that the only difference between a loaf of diet bread and regular bread is the number of slices? The same observation can be made regarding the average number of parking spaces at the supermarket. You see it is not that they have painted more spaces, it is that you are not driving around in a diet loaf, no you are probably driving around in a monster calorie loaf. Ironically at the end of the day, they all make the same damn sandwich with a little tuna, peanut better etc.

A brand new 1908 Tin Lizzie carried 4 asses around town on a tank of gas for one week. Of course the car weighed about half of what a comparable car weighs today, it certainly wasn’t very quick and the town was much smaller. But think about it for a minute, that original American car provided the same utility as a comparable car today. Reliable transport for 4 asses around town, to and from the market, work and little Jimmy’s baseball game. All on one tank of gas. So really, the only change is the weight of the asses carried and the distance they have to travel.

Sure you can pay for your gas savings upfront by driving a hybrid but at the end of the day all you have really done is purchase a diet loaf for super calorie loaf prices. Silly for the moment unless of course your ego requires the world to know that you are concerned about the environment. If so, you might want to see how your car is built, what “rare earth” is and how do you recycle that future hazmat unit 5 years from now?

Another ridiculous addition to our driving habits over an above the “super calorie loaf car” is our need for G.P.S. to show us where we are on a road which has lines painted on it and has these things called signs alongside it. Are we that lazy?

I purchased a motor scooter a few years ago and by God that is one hell of a loaf of diet bread. For $3.50, my ass gets carried all over town, to and from the business and I get to impress people with it’s sheer coolness. An added benefit is that I really dont give a damn about parking spaces at the supermarket because I get to pull right up to where the shopping cart repository is and then I strut right in baby. Sure, it isn’t practical for a family unless of course you live in Kuala Lumpur but I am not even sure if they eat bread there anyways. Oh yeah, next weekend I am installing a Tom Tom GPS on my scooter.

About Andy Killion

Andy closed his boat yard business this summer and is now embarking on a new voyage yet to be plotted.
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