Its quite pleasant to not HAVE to be anywhere in particular. I suppose my blood pressure is the happiest for the moment.
Tomorrow, my son Jack and I will be whisked off to the Northern Coast of Spain where we will have some time to really get to know each other as we walk the 1200 year old path to Santiago Spain.
Of course everything I am imagining our walk to be will be entirely different than what will come to pass but for now it is all I have to go by. So there it is, a door has closed and another one is opening wide, in technicolor and unfortunately without subtitles, but this is the route we have chosen.
Se habla Ingles?
The song says it all. I too am the son of a son of a sailor. As I wind down to the final days and hours of this rich chapter on the waterfront, I am experiencing an overwhelming sense of ease and contentment. We took the high road, did the good work and owned our mistakes all the way along.
Its a funny thing to have the time to witness the end of your livelihood at what first appears to be a rapid pace but in the end is just slow motion, a slow motion death. Dostoevsky described it perfectly in Crime and Punishment, a man walking to the gallows looks back upon his life and breaks the remaining moments of his life into small footsteps filled with thoughts and reflections upon a life filled with mistakes and triumphs. This is where I am mentally and yet I am not going to the gallows.
One cannot help but panic in the midnight hours to think of the sea of humanity swimming all around, everyone swimming with a purpose except for me. What will I do?
I will wake up and set sail, hauling my burdens with me. Thank God I am buoyed upwards by friends and the ones I love, my sails filled with past accomplishments, lifting ahead towards new challenges yet to be discovered.
The wind is up down here at the waters edge but not only the winds that rustle the halyards and canvas, no this is a wind directing change.
To call something your own is a wonderful feeling, something that you love, dedicate your life to, something that in your own mind defines who it is that you are. This is something that is important. When that thing is taken from you, it also takes away who you believe at the moment that it is you are. Do you then become less of a person?
I don’t believe this to be true for what it is that you do will, over time, change you into something new, something better. I believe that this is the case. That is to say that what it is that I believe I am has little to do with what I have lost and more to do with what it is I have gained in the way of experiences and wisdom.
To forgive, to let go, to move along with grace, these are the attributes I wish to maintain and to be proud of owning. More so than a wind blown patch of asphalt down here at the waters edge. Smiling faces, a job well done, quiet time when it is done. This is what matters most at Naupactus.